I could have written everything she has written. I still feel quite awful about some of the things I used to believe and the people I hurt as a result of those beliefs. I particularly feel bad about the preaching I did as a Jehovah's Witness. As Rechelle put it: "I apologize for not respecting your intelligence and glazing over thorny issues and rationalizing all the bullshit that is so present at all times in 'god's word'."
I think of all the hours I spent defending my beliefs to people I would meet in the door-to-door preaching ministry. I can't believe that I had the balls to come to a stranger's home uninvited and then proceed to question them on their belief systems, attempt to prove those beliefs wrong and push my JW literature on them. Fortunately, I wasn't one of those hardcore JW's that would put my foot in the door to keep it from being shut in my face, but I was still persistent and ignorant enough to think that what I believed was the truth and what you believed was a lie.
I cringe most of all when I think of the people that actually believed me. There is one family that I helped indoctrinate with the Jehovah's Witnesses belief system. When I finally saw through the JW beliefs, I went back to this family and shared with them what I had found out, imploring them to do some serious research into the JW's and to be wary of getting involved any deeper in the JW structure. The father of the family seemed to listen well to me but the mother did not. She still seemed inclined to believe and wanted to continue on the path to becoming a full JW. I have not heard from them since.
I exhale a very deep sigh when I think of my arrogance as a true believer. I apologize, as blogger Rechelle does, "for being such a huge shit head for all those years." May I be continually humbled by life and have the opportunity to make amends for my errors. Amen.