Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Moving On...

At some point in your life, or maybe it's not just once but a series of times, you realize that change must occur. Major change. Not just change to the color of your hair or your job or where you live, but change to what you think and how you think. You stop and question whether the program you're currently running in your mind is really helping you get where you want to go in life.

So, you survey your heart, that mass of flesh still beating in your chest. It is that part of your soul that aches and yearns for more, even though its been raped and pillaged. Even though it's been shot and left for dead. And you lie naked, face down in the mud, cursing the sky and all of its gods. And you wonder. How the hell did I get here? And you see all the people you could blame. There's Mom and Dad and the stupid cult. There's that boy who didn't love you even though you loved him. And the pet that died long before you were ready to contemplate mortality. You know you could blame any or all of them for the mess you're in now. But it's no use. Somewhere along the way in this life, although you're not sure when, you grew up. You realized that this life was yours and if it was going to turn out the way you wanted it to, you'd better damn well take it by the reins and figure out how to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

And so, you flip yourself over in the mud, give the moon one last finger and be on your way. What else are you gonna do?

tall penguin


Umlud said...

Well... you could also just keep bashing your head against the wall, expecting the outcome to change. But doing that's just silly.

Where's the 'moving on' toward?

Anonymous said...

Truer words could not be spoken, love. . . I myself just gave the sky the finger not but five minutes ago. And then i bashed my head against the toilet stall wall and drowned face down in the toilet bowl. Cheers.

matt said...

The blame game, huh? :)
We all do it, we all need it, its what we do, it's how we make thoughts.
Hope to talk to you soon!

(PS: The word verification is 'fruder', some how I really love that word. :))

tall penguin said...

Hey umlud, not sure where the moving on is toward. Do we ever really know where we're going? Perhaps the most honest answer I can give you is: deeper into what is.

Hey Lauren and Matt, my two favorite crazies! Goddess bless you two. You have such amazing courage to be living the life you're living. I wish you were here for a group hug right now. I could use it.

matt said...

We wish you were here too. The group hugs' on us dear! :)
Love you,

(Wish you had your puter back!)