Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Me Growin' Up!

I started a blog tradition before my birthday last year of checking my progress against the developmental milestones for my age. Now, I am technically turning 35 this year but since I didn't celebrate birthdays as a Jehovah's Witness, I count my age from the time I left the group. So, this year I'm turning 4.

Here are the developmental milestones for me, the four-year-old. (My comments are in red.)

Physical Development:

Stand on one leg. Most days, yes.

Jump up and down. I like jumping up and down. Especially at work. It makes people laugh.

Draw a circle and a cross. Celtic crosses are cool.

Be self-sufficient in many routines of home life. I clean house. I do laundry. I make food. Me is so smart.

Skip on one foot. I like skipping. Especially at work. It makes people laugh.

Cut with scissors (not well.) At least I try.

Be able to wash and dry his face. Dry too?

Dress himself (except ties.) I can dress myself fairly well these days. Although, I still have these odd moments where I leave the house and check to make sure I have pants on. Not sure what that's about. And I'm guessing the exemption is referring to the tying of laces as opposed to neckties. I can do the former; don't think I'll ever master the latter.

Be able to do a standing broad jump. I hated the broad jump in school. I'm much more of a triple-jump kinda gal.

Throw balls overhand. Tee hee. They said 'balls'.

Have a high motor drive. I didn't get diagnosed with ADHD for nothin'!

Draw simple circles and stick figure people. I actually graduated to drawing tulips this year. Yay me!

Climb up and down a slide by himself. I like climbing slides. But the other kids on the playground usually point and laugh. Jerks.

Use the toilet with just a little help. Okay, fine, I do need the occasional glass of prune juice to make things easier.

Delevopmental milestones associated with feeding:

Rarely spills when using spoon. Rarely.

Serves self finger foods. Hummus and pita. Yum. And I've even learned not to double dip.

Eats with fork held with fingers. I still haven't overcome the urge to use the fork as a weapon though. May need another year to master that one.

Uses fork in preference to spoon. Only because it leaves a scar.

Social & Emotional Development:

Have good memory and capacity recall. I live in the moment, baby. What do I need to remember?

Ask endless questions. Yes, and I will never stop.

Be learning to generalize. Men are poopyheads.

Be highly imaginative. I'm having a private smile thinking about this. It's been a highly imaginative kinda year.

Be dramatic. I'm tall. I'm a penguin. Doesn't get much more dramatic than that. Oh wait, there was that incident where I was solicited for prostitution.

Draw recognizable simple objects. Do they have to be recognizable?

Match and name three or four colors. Match AND name? Geez, they don't want much, do they? Stupid developmental psychologists.

Put together simple puzzles with 5 or 6 pieces. I'm already onto 1,000 piece puzzles. I'm kickin' ass! I mean kickin' butt. Tee hee...I said butt.

Follow simple two step directions. Go to liquor store and buy tequila. Got it.

Use complete sentences. Yes, I use complete sentences.

Have a vocabulary of about 1540 words. 1540? It was only 896 last year. You mean I was supposed to learn another 644 words over the past year? I fail.

Know the names of familiar animals. One word: BAT.

Be able to use at least four prepositions (or demonstrate that he understands their meanings when given commands, like “Look under the table!”) I can look under the table, but I must not look behind the curtain. Did that once. Disaster ensued.

Be able to name common objects in picture books or magazines. Why does my mind automatically go somewhere naughty?

Know one or more colors. Again with the colors. What is this? Some kind of color-dominated regime?

Be able to repeat 4 digits when they are given slowly. So baby, what's your number?

Be able to repeat words of four syllables (most of the time.) My last name is four syllables. Some days I still mess it up.

Have most vowel sounds (including sounds like “ow” and “oy”) and have the consonants p, b, m, w, n well established. I think I've got this under control. Of course, if I'm drunk, all bets are off.

Indulge in make-believe often. I like role-play. My dress-up box consists of...never mind.

Be talkative when carrying out activities. Talk and do at the same time? I was supposed to have mastered that by age 4? Wow. I fail.

Understand concepts like longer and larger when a contrast is presented. Oh much I could say.

Follow simple commands even when the commands involve objects that are not in sight. Please return your library books, Miss Penguin.

Repeat words, phrases, syllables, and even sounds often. I repeat a lot of stuff often. I wish I didn't.

Talk with words in sentences that can mostly be understood (about 75% of what he says.) I'd be happy if people understood 50% of what I said.

Intellectual Development:

Share possessions. Mi casa, su casa.

Try to react socially. I try.

Make uninvited comments to others sometimes. So, it's okay to give unsolicited advice?

Enjoy sharing. Hey, I share. You want me to enjoy it too?

Cooperate in play with other children, and at nursery school. Kids are cool. Except for them nursery school kids. They're jerks. Just like those kids on the playground.

Imitate parents. I actually need to stop doing this.

Begin to identify with same-sex parent and practice sex-role activities. Eww...

Have an intense curiosity and interest in other children’s bodies. I'm not sure how to respond to this one without getting myself into trouble of some sort.

Have an imaginary friend. There are non-imaginary friends?

Be affectionate toward parents. I'm getting there.

Have a romantic attachment to the parent of opposite sex (3 to 5 yrs.) I love my Daddy. I still wish he'd spend more time with me than he does with my mother. Wow, that really is the 4-year-old me talking, isn't it?

Be jealous of the same-sex parent. See above.

Have imaginary fears of the dark, injury, etc. (3 to 5 years.) I still check behind the shower curtain for monsters when I use someone's bathroom for the first time. NB: Clean your tub, people.

Like to conform. I will never be good at this again. Thank Goddess.

Have an easy going attitude. Eezy Breezy.

Be less resistant to change than in previous years. Yes, I am learning the power of flow.

Seem more secure. I'm pretty cool.

Have a greater sense of personal identity. Hmm...I don't know who I am but it no longer bothers me. In fact, I like creating myself anew every day.

Begin to be adventuresome. Oh, the places I'll go!

Enjoy music. I have 10,000 songs on my Itunes. Need I say more?

So there you have is growin' up!

tall penguin


Ganga Fondan said...

I love the "Thank Goddess" remark about conforming. It put a smile on my face. Yes you is growing up. Hmmmm I checklisted myself withsome of those items and found that I am actually younger than you tee hee.

Love ya,

Jennifer said...

Ha! Tommy would add that that "butt" is a bathroom word. Happy birthday, Miss Penguin. Solve that library book problem asap by just writing your own library of books!

Umlud said...

Congratulations on not only reaching your milestones, but surpassing them in every way imaginable!

And happy birthday! (We summer birthday people have to stick together, what?)

matt said...

Yes, you have grown in so many ways! Already 4 years old?! Such a strange world to grow up in, huh? :)