Wednesday, November 26, 2008


About a month ago I ranted about my mother and how frustrated I had become with myself because I was accepting treatment from her that I would not accept from anyone else. My beliefs around the concept of "mother" had been so deeply ingrained in my psyche that I'd lost my perspective on how to see her as I would see any other human being, and act from that place. In that entry I asked, "Why should she be treated differently than any other human being I interact with?"

As is so often the case these days, I noticed a shift in my awareness within days of asking this question. I'm finding an interesting phenomena occurring, that when I begin to question a belief, and release the emotion surrounding it, a new perspective gathers around the issue; clarity and a new way of seeing things. I realized that if I wanted to deprogram the belief that my mother deserved a pedestal and required special treatment, that I was going to have to remove my mother from the pedestal and treat her like everyone else in my life. Which meant calling her on unacceptable behavior. And showing her the unconditional love and compassion I'm learning to express with others in my life.

Fortunately, the universe obliged with yet one more triggering situation around my mother and I took the opportunity to be clear about her behavior and how it was driven by a false perception of the events. I reassured her of my love for her and my desire to be part of her life. And something shifted. Something has changed between us. We are beginning to interact like...adults. I dare say we're both growing up. And I'm pretty damn proud of us.

tall penguin


vanessa said...

That's awesome. It's amazing what happens when you speak from your heart.

hannabelle said...

It takes a lot of courage and stepping out of your comfort zone to initiate this sort of openness. Good on you!

I could only dream of that happening between me and my mom. Any attempt to do that results in further misunderstanding, hurt and tears. Many tears...:(

I just think if I was separated from her in time and space...maybe in about 10 years from now after living in another country or something, might make a difference. For me to grow up and for my mom to accept me as an adult.

Anyways, you can see I still do read your blog from time to time (it's tracked on my google Reader) and yes, I should comment more often so that I don't appear stalker-ish.

I miss you and the good ol' bookstore!