Sunday, November 2, 2008

Conflict Not So Scary Anymore...

I used to be completely afraid of conflict. I used to hold back what I was thinking or feeling in case someone would disagree with me. I used to believe that my ideas were who I was. Not so anymore. In recent posts, I've been sharing more of the meanderings of my mind in their raw state. And the reactions have been interesting. People are disagreeing with me. And it's okay. When I feel like clarifying a point, I clarify. But there isn't this need anymore to defend in the sense of my needing to be right, as if my identity hinged on everyone seeing my point of view (a cult throwback I'm sure). I'm actually enjoying just having you all engage in the discussion with me.

This has been a huge fear for me to face. One that I think is instrumental in my growth as a human being. I'm willing to be wrong. Everything that comes out of my mind is up for question. If you suspect bullshit, please, call me on it. It's all good. Just realize that the reverse is also true. It's called open dialogue. What a novel idea. Thank you all for being willing to engage with me here. I learn so much from you all every day.

tall penguin


Tammie said...

i used to be afraid of conflict as well. i used to replay conversations over and over in my head, wondering if there was something i may have said that would have offended someone. the stress that went along with that was overpowering.

thankfully, im not that person anymore. it's a wonderful feeling.

matt said...

I seem to be moving towards this point too. I have been embracing conflict at college and at home. My father and I get through problems because I communicate them now. If I'm angry, he will know it, and I would shrug back from showing it anymore. :)

At college, my friend has been bringing his LDS missionary buddies to school with him, it's pretty fun. I enjoy the debates we share, and the thoughts brought up. I'm no longer really afraid of sharing my beliefs, because they are just that, my own beliefs, if they don't like them, that's what communication is about, and the sharing of ideas.

"Conflict is the beginning of consciousness." - M. Esther Harding :)

matt said...

"I would shrug back from showing it anymore. :)" -- oops, that should be: "and I no longer shrug back from showing it anymore"