Tuesday, September 30, 2008


"The miracle of life waiting in the heart of a seed cannot be proved at once."

I am learning to wait. I blogged about my issues around waiting, and how often my waiting has been frustrating and to no avail. You may also recall me telling you about the healer lady who told me that I've been a very good sperm in my life, going after things, but that I needed to learn to be the egg, to learn to wait for things to come to me. Well, I'm learning. And guess what? Amazing things are happening.

I have some general intentions for what I want to see happen in my life, but they are more about what I want to feel, experience, the kind of people I want to be around; more than a laundry list of things to accomplish before I leave this life. It is much more gestalt than concrete. I am trusting life to unfold the details. I am astounded at life's little miracles. I am in awe at how things can come together with very little effort on my part and how when I'm trying to make things happen, they often backfire, cause me or others pain, or just generally leave me feeling empty. I am learning to continually clear the space in my mind and heart for the dreams I have to come to fruition.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
~~ Rumi

I am in awe of this life. Complete and total awe.

tall penguin


Umlud said...

This is generally good advice on how to be found when you are lost. Okay, true, the one is metaphorical, the other is physical, but I think the same principles apply. Unfortunately, many people think that life is a journey of self-discovery. Well, perhaps it is fortunate that many people think that, since if effectively everyone is taking a life journey, then staying in one place will allow you to meet just as many people, and - on the plus side - they will know where to find you again.

As to your comment about how things fall apart when you try and make things happen, that is one of the tenets of Aikido - although one of the most difficult things to actually learn. If you want to see some of this - i.e., guiding things that come to you instead of forcing them - then check out my former teacher as he takes a class step-by-step through a technique that blends the action of the partner - and their momentum - with a safe outcome with comparably less effort on his part. (It does help that Rick is a really good partner and knows how to follow.)

tall penguin said...

Hey umlud, I don't follow your first comment about life not being a journey and being lost. Can you clarify for me please?

As for you second comment, I loved watching the Aikido demo. It was obvious that yielding can be very powerful.

Umlud said...

Oh. I wasn't necessarily connecting the life-being-a-journey and being lost together. I was saying that one way to be found (or to find yourself) is to stay where you are.

Much of the essence of meditation is to become aware of where you are, to be aware of your surroundings and yourself in them. It takes a lot of effort to remain still and to let the world come to you.

Of course, in our society ("Western" society generally speaking), one of the big images from society is that of the "life journey". In that sense, sitting still and letting others come to you is just as good a way to have a life "journey" (since there are so many people who will - presumably - be "walking about" on their own journeys for you to meet on their way past).

tall penguin said...

Hello again umlud, glad I asked. Thank you for clarifying that. Once again, your words echo my own.

It's a funny thing to realize how far you can go just by being still and allowing things to come to you. And yet, one of the most difficult life lessons to learn, especially in a society that values doing over being.