Monday, July 14, 2008

A Little Product Knowledge...

When it's quiet at the bookstore, we bookslaves will often seek out interesting titles and peruse their contents. We call it "product knowledge"; at least that's what we call it when the manager walks by. Tonight's book of choice was Virgin Sex for Girls located in our Parenting section (Please Note: googling the words "virgin sex girls" will get you to the book listing, but will also expose your eyes to all manner of other stuff. Consider yourself warned).

Here's a few gems that we found particularly entertaining this evening. In the section on getting ready for sex, there's a listing of what can help stimulate arousal. Sandwiched between kissing and sexual fantasy was "deep emotional connection". Awww...isn't that special?

My greatest education of the evening came in the lists of all of the phrases used to describe sex and masturbation. Now, I know I haven't had a lot of exposure to these types of things, but I've heard enough about sex over the years and figured I'd heard most of the terms used. Not so. My favorite new term for sex is now "chopping the wood". Would you care to chop wood? Let's go back to my place and chop wood.

But the best phrase I learned tonight is in reference to female masturbation...Paddling the pink canoe. LOVE IT!!! I won't be able to use this one enough. I'm going to work it into just about every conversation over the next week, just because I can. I'm curious to see the reactions. I'll keep you posted.

tall penguin

Edited to add: Check out sex-lexis for all manner of sexual terms, quotes and expressions. An endless source of new words for your daily use.


matt said...

Don't go sail the seven seas and off to the 'New World now! (Or better yet!) XD

Alice said...

You're right. I always think I've heard it all and then you spring two new ones on me. Some friends and I had one of our better conversations when I mentioned that something called "anal bleaching" existed in the cosmetic industry world. Who knew? (Sorry if I grossed you out.)

tall penguin said...

Anal to look that one up. Learned something new there. Huh, people actually do this?

matt said...

Sounds like it... burns, ALOT. :D