I have never liked ice skating. Something about being tall and strapping on footwear that makes me taller still, and then trying to stay upright on a slippery surface, makes me cringe. You know what it is about skating that I hate? Falling. When you're this tall, it's a long way down. And once you're down, it's hard to get up again. So, when I skate, I lock up all the muscles up the back of my body to keep from falling. And it shows. I look like a penguin on ice, slowly trudging along, one deliberate movement after another.
This is a metaphor for my life. I am afraid to fall. Having fallen so many times and picked myself up again and again, you'd think I'd be used to it. But you never get used to it. And the larger I allow my dreams to become, the more I grow to reach them and the inevitable fear surfaces: If I fall, it's gonna be a long way down.
I find myself at a crossroads in my life (geez, how many of these are there gonna be?). I have laid before me many options for the next phase of my life. Each would take me in a very different direction. And I can feel my body entering lock down mode, going into its protective shell, bracing for the impact of change. As I reach for my dreams, the fear of falling is ever-present. I am skating on the ice of life. And I don't know what to do next.