Thursday, July 10, 2008

Being Open to Being Open...

I blogged recently about Jenny Block's book Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage. I just read an article written about Block and her book in the Observer UK. Great read. Please let me know what you think of it.

Block, who, for all intents and purposes, looks like an average suburban housewife, enjoys an open marriage. She is married to a man, has a child, but also has a live-in female companion, who is also her lover. And for them, it works. And I say, cool.

No search for self would be complete without a journey into my own sexuality. As I've blogged about on occasion, the idea of being with the same sex intrigues me. I have experienced attraction to women and look forward to exploring that further. Does that mean I've changed as a person? Perhaps. Really, I think the path to self is a journey of uncovery rather than discovery. Of clearing away anything that has tarnished the reality of who you are, rather than a finding out, "gee I really like doing things this way now".

I think of the caterpillar who has the DNA for being a butterfly all set and ready to go when it enters the world. It's just a matter of a genetic switch being flipped and the butterfly emerges. But really, it was there all along. I think the me I am has always been there. It's just a matter of time before the butterfly finds its wings.

So, I play with this idea of an open relationship. It appeals to me deeply. I can see it working very well. Now, just finding someone who is as open to the idea as I am. Remember my New Years intention around calling in "The One"? It's in process people. I can feel it. ;)

tall penguin

6 comments:

Flonkbob said...

I have friends who are in Open relationships. I have friends in a plural marriage. I have friends who are totally hetero-, homo-, and bi-sexual.

I have never believed that love could be legislated or that a person could ONLY love one other person at a time. It's just silly, and historically it's not uncommon for society to realize that and leave people alone to decide for themselves. Not our puritanical sky-fairy-fearin' society, but some others have managed.

I've been thorough the situation where my SO at the time decided it was time for someone from the past to take an intimate roll in the present. My reaction was "I love you." Not 'unless' or 'because' or 'until'. If you can't say that I don't think much of your relationship anyway.

Elessa said...

it is not that i believe in open relationships as much as i believe that love isn't relegated to only being for the opposite sex.

why not be able to express physically to anyone, regardless of gender, how you feel through the act of lovemaking?

i do not believe man is meant to be monogamous, but rather we will meet various people as our souls progress on their human experience with whom we will fall in love.

matt said...

Love is an active force taken place in and by intelligence; any rules surrounding that love is artificial. :)

By that I mean, any structure we define for ourselves beyond love has been created by us.

Thus, they are not real things. It's like gaining the right to vote. A meaningless illusion. Love anything that can love back. :)

tall penguin said...

"I've been thorough the situation where my SO at the time decided it was time for someone from the past to take an intimate roll in the present. My reaction was "I love you." Not 'unless' or 'because' or 'until'."

flonkbob, that is a most beautiful example of what healthy adult love looks like. I'm deeply moved.

tall penguin said...

"why not be able to express physically to anyone, regardless of gender, how you feel through the act of lovemaking?"

Exactly. Touch and sex are an innate expression of our connection with others. It is what it is.

tall penguin said...

"Love anything that can love back. :)"

Yay! :)