"Accepting all I've done and said
I want to stand and stare again
Til there's nothing left out, oh
It remains there in your eyes
Whatever comes and goes
I will hear your silent call
I will touch this tender wall
Til I know I'm home again."
~~Peter Gabriel, In Your Eyes extended version
I often think about the end of my life. I think about who I would want to surround me in those last moments. And I think about whose eyes I would want to stare into as I draw my last breath.
I wonder what the moment of death feels like. I wonder what it feels like in those few last breaths when you know that there is no more to be considered, no more to be experienced, no more to be won or lost, when you can give that final exhale and say Amen to all that is. When you can let go. Ahh, to let go, once and for all.
I imagine a smile spread across my face, a knowing that all that has come before has been perfect in its own way. That all was for my higher good. That every last tear, every last joy, every last glance, word, was perfect, sublime, divine and sacred. That all these moments, all these terrible, painful, exquisite moments were part of the great fabric of this life, of this universe. And as I let go of that last breath, that smile of knowing will be my last gift to my loved ones. The assurance that all is indeed well.