Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Squirrel vs. Penguin: Take Two

Remember my post about the squirrels who decided to chew through my apartment window screen and help themselves to some cookies on my kitchen table? And remember how I said I was going to contact my super and get the screen replaced? Well, I didn't. And they came back.

I know what you're thinking. Why did I leave the window open with a large hole in the screen? And my thought process went something like this: "It's a hot day. I need the air. Surely, the squirrels wouldn't attempt a second break-in. And besides, there's no open food out. What would they come looking for?" I'm an idiot.

To add insult to injury, I was warned. Just this morning as I was sitting at my table doing my routine journaling, I hear a branch rustling outside the open window. Squirrel. He looks at me. I look at him. He looks at hole in window. I look at hole in window. He dances around tree branches and disappears. I shrug my shoulders, and return to my writing.

So, I go out for the afternoon, come back and proceed to the kitchen to write some more. As I step onto the kitchen tile I notice I've stepped into something very wet and very cold. I look down and my water glass is on the floor. I look around. Surely the wind wasn't strong enough to knock over a glass, I thought. Various papers from the table are strewn all over the kitchen. Wait a second.

I look over to the window and there on the ledge are chewed up avocado rinds. I go over to my fruit basket on the far side of my kitchen and sure enough, my last avocado (the one I'd been waiting for the past three days to ripen) is gone. Now, you know I love avocados. To me, this was an act of war.

I look back over to the ledge, to the remnants of my beloved avocado and realize that squirrel had to have eaten part of it to fit it through the hole in the screen; the hole which, by the way, is now framed by creamy avocado flesh. Not only did he steal my food, make a mess in my kitchen, but he had the audacity to sit and enjoy some quality time in my apartment before leaving.

Fuzzy bastard.

tall penguin


falterer said...

Camping in the New Forest, squirrels once broke into our tent and ate all our Alpen. I also remember a gang of squirrels closing in on me and some fast food in a park one day. I'd turn my head to stare at one of them and another would start shuffling toward me right on the edge of my peripheral. It was spooky. Like The Birds, only fuzzier and toothier.

Here's hoping you find a super reinforced unchewable window wossname.

Anonymous said...

I think I know the squirrel you're referring to:

the squirrel

tall penguin said...

anon, that was hilarious. Yup, that's him alright.

They are aggressive aren't they? I'm sitting here visually pacing my window waiting for a reappearance. I figure at some point, he's going to bring along friends.

happinessiseasy said...

Don't you know anything about foreshadowing? You're a writer!

That said, I hate squirrels. They used to get into the attic at my parent's house. I'd be sitting at home, late at night, and hear scratching noises from the ceiling above me. I actually felt like I was in a horror movie the first time it happened.

Anonymous said...

PS. 3 dogs and a cat keep the house and yard rather squirrel-free, if only for the excitement of the chase and the uncertainty of not knowing when a blur is going to come racing around the corner at them.

Anonymous said...

we too have had a squirrel break-in at our apartment...little menace ate the herbs from our window sill. Could he not have found them in someone else's YARD without chewing through a screen?

Anonymous said...

thought i was the only one!!! i had one chew thru my kitch. screen & drag & eat the yeast rolls i made from the counter...the next morn., he chewed another screen & chewed the plastic top of a cashew can---I learned how to replace screens-- & last. sat at 4p.m., another chewed in over my kitch sink with tv on & i was outside 30' away--thank god they eat & run--what to do??? i'm in a suburb of chicago & can't believe it!!! think it's cuz i took my birdfeeder down & neighbor cut down apple tree, so now they just come in??? WHAT TO DO?????

Anonymous said...

No, you are not the only one...yesterday after work I walked into my house and found a tupperware container filled with cookies I had made for my nephew going to college ripped apart, and a giant hole in my new screen that was supposed to be squirrel proof. They had chewed through the previous screen and the replacement was supposed to keep them out. I live in a suburb of Chicago too, and I am totally freaked out, did not sleep last night at all and just feel like crying. I want the windows open, but what kind of screen will stop them.... does anybody have any idea??? Any help would be appreciated.

tall penguin said...

Seems like a lotta squirrel woes goin around. I have yet to get my screen replaced. I only keep the window open when I'm at home. Since my apartment is small they don't dare come in when someone is home. Other than that, the window is kept closed.

I had hoped to get a "squirrel-proof" screen installed, but after these comments I'm wondering if that will be enough to keep the little furballs out.

Anonymous said...

I don't know, they seem pretty tenacious... I am going to do the same thing, only open windows when I am at home, but what about at night, I wonder if it's safe to keep a window in the bedroom open... any thoughts?