Monday, May 26, 2008

Crawl...

"If all you can do is crawl,
Start crawling."
~~Rumi

Having had chronic health problems of various sorts throughout my life, I have been forced to confront the idea of acceptance. It is only in recent months though that I have done this. Previously, I battled with my body, battled with my mind, fought with it to get it to do what I wanted it to or what I thought it should be able to do. And like a petulant child, it buckled down and ignored me. Until I listened to it.

All this time, my body has been teaching me about radical acceptance, about saying yes to what is, without argument, without the immediate need for it to be any different. I used to see illness as a defect. But really, it just is what it is. Like the rest of life, the body is merely a metaphor. It's only when we weave a story around it that it leads to suffering. And so, while I still experience chronic pain on a daily basis, I know that the pain is not me. It no longer defines who I am. It no longer keeps me from moving into this glorious present moment that is waiting to be lived.

Each day now, I sit with my body and hold it in my arms. The petulant child is responding well to that love. It has melted into the safe place in my heart and breathes with a new determination to live this life as best it can. I like my body. I dare say we're becoming friends.

tall penguin

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