I've looked at life from both sides now,
From up and down and still somehow,
It's lif'e's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all.
~~Joni Mitchell, Both Sides Now
We all carry around illusions in this life. Perhaps it is a belief in god or the supernatural; perhaps it is the image we have of a hero, a celebrity or a loved one; or perhaps it is the way we see ourselves. I am starting to think there is a time and place for illusions, that maybe they serve a purpose in our evolution. That the stories we tell ourselves have perhaps kept us sane for a time, kept us looking ahead, kept us company on the stark cold journey through life.
I have systematically confronted illusion after illusion in the past few years, many quite publicly through this blog; others in the privacy of my secret world. Each time I stare down an illusion and see it for what it is I am humbled. I see how that illusion has both helped and hindered me. I see how it has laid the path for the woman I am now. I also see how my life is at a loss without it. I see how facing reality, how confronting my personal mythology lays me bare, lays me open, lays me naked and vulnerable.
And so, I will carry a few illusions with me for the journey. I will allow myself a few stories for the ride. I am human and to be human is to weave a tale. It is the gift and curse of language. It is what bridges us from the animals to the next step in the evolutionary chain. And who am I to interfere with that?