I wrote not too long ago about the possibility of revisiting my fashion career. So I went for an interview tonight and here's the thing. Have you ever had the experience of meeting up with an old flame?
You get all excited remembering the good times you shared together and hope maybe that old spark can be rekindled. Then you meet and within minutes you begin to recall all the reasons why the relationship ended. You remember all the bullshit and the drama and the hurt. And you think, “What the fuck am I doing here?”
Well, as I walked around the store killing time before my interview, my initial love-fest with the idea of returning to fashion began to crumble as the memories of retail rhetoric, bitchy customers and low pay began to creep back into my consciousness. Add to that the forty-five minute commute (one way), and I stood there thinking, “What the fuck am I doing here?”
Of course, I aced the interview. There was really nothing to discuss, as my reputation from six years ago still held. It all came down to money. I stated my salary expectations. It was met with a “I don’t think we’re going to be able to meet that.” I said, “See what you can come up with.” In the end, it would have to be pretty close to the money I asked for if I were going to seriously consider going back.
What felt really good and monumental about this experience was realizing my value and worth, and not being willing to settle for less than I deserve. And to realize that it wasn’t just about the money, it was about time. It was about how much time out of my day would I spend commuting and how much time would I actually be at work. And how much energy would this traveling require. My energy is precious to me. As is my time. I realize now that these things would have to be compensated monetarily and even then, sometimes it’s just not worth the hassle.
I like my simple life. I don’t mind not making very much money. It’s a trade off really. I choose to work close to home which frees up more time and energy for other things I enjoy, like living. I choose to work in retail for now because of the fun atmosphere and low stress. Again, it allows me energy and time for other things more important to me. Perhaps there will come a day where I’m willing to expend more time and energy to make more money. Or maybe I’ll make more money expending the same amount of time and energy. Regardless, I want to keep my life simple. It’s working for me.