Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Be careful what you wish for...

I wrote here recently about love and addiction. I've been thinking more and more about this lately. A friend told me of an article (which I can't seem to locate) written by an addiction specialist. He was talking about alcoholism and how the same kind of addiction patterns shown in relation to alcohol also manifest in their relationships. He said when these addictive types meet someone who they're just nuts about it's the disease talking. They are attracted to the comfort of the chaos the beloved represents, to the disappointment they'll bring. Although it's unhealthy, it's familiar. It's a similar pattern to people who end up in abusive relationships over and over again. It's not love. It's addiction.

Now when I become instantly attracted to someone, I pause and think that maybe it's just old patterns of painful familiarity coming to the surface and prompting this "love" response. Feeling "nuts" about anyone is just that...a few steps away from insanity. It's only a matter of time before it becomes obvious that the person I have fallen for is just a repeat of some unhealthy character from my past.

We think we're so in control. We think we're directing our own lives. But are we? Seems sometimes that we're all continually acting out the patterns of the past. I'm beginning to wonder whether I even have a file set up in my brain for the kind of person I say I want. I better be careful what I wish for. I may get it and not know what the fuck to do with it.

tall penguin

3 comments:

Rahul said...

TP: Addiction as a disease has such a negative connotation. There are some times that individuals might be addicted to some things and it's not such a bad thing. May I suggest you watch a film called "What the bleep do we know?" It depicts the neuro-level of the human condition of addiction, and describes what is happening at a biochemical perspective when one replaces one addiction with another. Chocolate for love, for example. It also goes on to suppose that you do have the power to be in control. /rd

John Conley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John Conley said...

Love is wonderful. We all have our issues. There are so many factors that go into what molds us and forms how we view the world. Neuro-level of the human condition or not, love is intoxicating whether you have an addictive personality or not.

It all comes down to choice in the end. We choose to remove ourselves from love. Or we choose to let ourselves lose control.

But we're all different and need to be loved differently. We also all display our love differently. This deeply human emotion is what makes our relationships so special. I say let go. Give yourself up to love and rejoice in the chaos.

John Conley
http://john-in-palestine.blogspot.com