Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Craving Eternal Sunshine...

If you've seen the film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind perhaps you understand the idea of wanting to pack up the past in a box and have someone wipe every memory clear out of your head. I still have these moments. I still find it difficult to believe the "If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger" rhetoric. Maybe our experiences eventually heap up to the point of killing us. Maybe that's what cancer and heart disease are--a mountain of memories that we think were making us stronger, but were really eating away at our souls. Who's to know really?

I think sometimes that the human race is full of crap. We spout off all kinds of stuff to make ourselves feel better, but I'm finding it harder and harder to believe any of it. It seems that I can blow sunshine up my own ass for about 3 weeks and then I end up back here, questioning life and everything in it. Perhaps it's time to come to accept this about myself, rather than fighting to change it. Maybe it just is what it is. Maybe this is just part of the form I've taken this trip around the sun. Maybe I should just make peace with my existential angst once and for all, and stop giving a damn what people think of me, or even what I think of me. Hmm...

tall penguin

3 comments:

TimW8 said...

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Dominick said...

this too shall pass is my favorite. no one should ever say that to me if i have any sharp objects near me. cuz seriously, i'll consider it. really all of that is bullshit.

some smart chick told me once that really its all in our minds. our realities are our own shaped by a million impulses, desires, fears and rhetoric that no one talking to us can imagine let alone see. i guess then it falls to us to make sense of our situations and chose the path that makes the most sense at that moment.

it can't rain all the time :D i actually like that one.

TimW8 said...

I forgot to say I love that movie