Of all the people I've lost, all the beliefs I've shed and everything that has come up for question in the past two years since leaving the jw's, what hurts me the most is that I feel myself losing faith in love.
I have always been a hopeless romantic, perhaps bordering on idealistic, but the one thing that always kept me going in life was the idea that love existed and that I could find someone to love and be loved by--a companion, a fellow journeyman. Now, love seems like just another chemical reaction in my mind. It seems meaningless. A futile pursuit like all others.
My unending belief in love has been what has guided my spirit through these many years of depression. Now, it seems like an illusion. Just another one to throw on the pile. What is left?