I must say that being in charge of my own life, making my own decisions, is hard work sometimes. I can see why people gravitate towards constructs like politics or religion to make things a little more clear cut. Taking one moment, one day, one scenario at a time requires insight, wisdom and patience. And love. And it can be exhausting.
Today I feel as though I'm bumbling my way through. Attempting to understand myself, understand others and still be able to lay my head on the pillow at night and feel good about the decisions I've made this day.
While I no longer long for the "safety" of my old constructs, it is an odd place to be without beliefs, to be making it up as you go along. Most days I enjoy the freedom. Today though, I wish things were a little more clear. I wish the answers would come a little more readily, a little faster, with a little less effort. But then again, perhaps there are no answers for me today. Perhaps it is enough for me to just be here, in this muddled space. To be one with the muddle. And so it is.