Wednesday, May 2, 2007
I sit on a park bench watching the children play. It's Spring. The trees are budding. It seems everyone and everything is coming alive. Including me. After a very long soul-searching winter, I find my soul emerging from hibernation. Not sure I've ever been this present before.
I sit on the park bench watching the children play, a stupid smile on my face. I must look like an insane person waiting to be carted off to the asylum. But really I'm just content. Just happy to be in this moment. There is nothing particular making me happy. Nothing particular contributing to this moment of bliss. It just is.
I'm reminded of the final scene from the film "American Beauty" where Kevin Spacey's character has just been shot and he's lying there, his head down on the counter in a pool of blood, smiling. Just smiling. And his final soliloquy trails in the background:
"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."
at 5:14 PM