Sunday, May 27, 2007

Does the body remember?

I'm back to physio. I had the most painful, most excruciating session yet a few days ago. My body is still reeling. While my strength has increased dramatically, my stamina is still in need of improvement. So, it's back to the floor for me, doing daily exercises to build the endurance I so sorely desire.

The muscle that I'm doing the most work with right now is called the psoas muscle. It's the muscle that flexes the hip and so is the most important muscle involved in walking and movement. Needless to say, mine is fucked up. The physio suspects it's from car accidents, falls and trauma over the years. It sure feels pretty battered up. I feel pretty battered up.

I slept most of the day after the session. My body felt bruised, abused and severely raw. Today I feel lightening bolt pains streak up and down my body. But I also feel lightening flashes of memory streak across my soul. Things I haven't thought about for a long time. People from my past. Strange perceptions of days gone by seem to be welling up in my consciousness. And I wonder if my body holds the memories of the past and as the muscles are worked and released, whether those memories float to the surface.

All I know at this moment is that I feel invaded. I feel as if my skin has been robbed of me and I have been beaten and left for dead. And yes, I've felt this way before. Far too many times.

tall penguin

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes I absolutely believe the body remembers.

In my chiropractic practice I have had people spontaneously laugh and cry during adjustments. Often they can't explain why, but sometimes it's a memory that all of sudden comes to them.

The longer your body is are under continuous care of any kind, the more like this is to happen. It's like you are slowly peeling back each layer of an onion skin that people have. It's one of the most rewarding parts of practice... for myself and the patient.

Vanessa

tall penguin said...

Does the onion ever end? I've been peeling back these layers for over a decade now. Damn onion goes on forever.

It's day 4 since the session. My body is still a mess. I'm so tired I could cry.

Anonymous said...

I don't think the onion really ever ends because we're always adding on layers at the same time as we peel them back.... sorry.

tall penguin said...

That's the most succinct and depressing thing I've heard yet on the onion analogy.

Anonymous said...

lol. sorry!