About a year ago I went to visit my cousin on the East Coast. She sent me to see her "healer" friend. Now, at this point in my life, I'm not a big believer in anything in particular. Suffice it to say though that this woman has a presence that could be described as healing. From the moment you drive up onto her property, you feel a wave of peace pass over you.
So, I'm lying on the table. This woman, who's never met me in my life, begins waving her hands over my body, resting them at various points. She says very little over the course of the session. By the hour's end, I am relaxed and quiet. Healer lady then says to me, "I have no idea why I'm saying this because it seems a bit odd of an illustration but I'm going to share it with you anyway."
"Please do," I say.
She continues, "You need to spend more time being the egg. The egg ripens within the woman's body and then it waits. It waits for the sperm. The sperm struggles to find the egg. You've spent a lot of your life struggling and trying for things, making things happen. That served it's purpose and you're very good at it. But now, you must learn to be the egg. Learn to wait for things to come to you."
I smiled. I could see the sperm and the egg quite clearly in my mind. And yes, I could relate to the sperm, always moving, always trying to get somewhere, to make things happen, to be the first one to the finish line. The egg seemed a little too passive for me. Just sitting around waiting for the sperm to show up.
As I was sitting on a rock at the beach today, I was reflecting on my past relationships. And I remembered the sperm and the egg. Lately, I've been spending more time just being, allowing things to come to me. Not pushing so hard. Not trying so hard. Still moving forward but not feeling like there's somewhere I must be. Something I must do. Someone I must be with.
And I realized that I have been the maturing egg for a long time. I have been growing and evolving and ripening into who I really am. And now, it is time to wait. To wait for things and people to come to me. I am here. I have been the sperm. I am now the egg.