Saturday, March 3, 2007

Post Secret

This is one of the postcards on the Post Secret blog this week. I hope this is me one day.

It's sad that this is something that many women would keep a secret. And yet, I can understand why. I have secretly dreamed of being a mother, a stay-at-home mother, since I was very young. But it's not something I share with many people because it seems a rather outdated notion in our society to think that a woman might want to stay home to raise children and feel fulfilled in this choice.

Despite all the issues I've had with my mother over the years, I am grateful that she stayed at home to raise my brother and I. I liked coming home at lunch and after school and finding a loving parent there to greet me, complete with snacks and a listening ear. My mother enjoyed being a mother and when all is said and done, I think she did a pretty good job.

As a child watching my mother, I aspired to be like her. I have a school project that I did when I was about 11 where I had to write about my future and what I saw myself doing in 15 years. I saw myself being a stay-at-home mom, like my own mother. And that seemed to be enough for me. In some ways, it still does.

I have battled with this in recent years, having bought into the post-feminism world we live in, where women are expected to be everything and do everything, where just being a mother couldn't possibly be enough. But as with most of the status quo life that I have come to abhor, I am slowly releasing my beliefs around what I should be doing. I admire the woman in this postcard. I admire her courage to do what she wants to do. Isn't that what feminism was supposed to be about anyways---creating the space for women to lead fulfilling lives no matter what they choose?

tall penguin


Jessica said...

I absolutely agree with you on this one. I have struggled with the notion that it may be strange for me to want to be a stay-at-home mom considering our society today, and I thought this conflicted with my longing to get a better education and support my family. Society tends to tell us we can have one or the other but... I am doing both!
Who says you can't have a career (or at least a "job") and raise your family at the same time. I have had the goal of providing for my family monetarily, and physically being there for my kids for a few years now but was not in the position to do so and had to work outside the home. I really hated not being there when my kids came home from school, and not having the energy (physically or mentally) to enjoy them and spend time with them. Plus, for me, having a family is about being a family, not working and sending my kids off to school and daycare where someone else is spending more time than me teaching and raising them.
Now that I've quit my "9-5" job and am working from home, I find I am on the way to fulfilling those goals completely, without going overboard with "Super Mom" syndrome, lol.
I definitely feel more fulfilled with the balance I have now between work and home, and I am able to take some personal time to do things for myself too, which is great.
You are so good with kids, I know you would be a great stay-at-home mom! In the meantime, you are an awesome "Aunt" and friend to our kids :) They absolutely adore you guys!


Magellan said...

As a man, allow me to say I admire and support the decision and desire to be a damn good stay-at-home mom. I can't think of anything nobler.

I hope you get to be the woman in the picture. More power to feminist moms!!

tall penguin said...

Thanks Jess. You are such a great example of a mom who's making the stay-at-home thing work. You are inspiring and wonderful.

Thanks Magellan. Nice to have a man's POV and support.