A good girlfriend of mine is a makeup artist. She recently took a training and needed to bring a guinea pig, errr...model, along to work on. So I gladly volunteered. My days as a hair model long behind me, I had forgotten what a serious business makeup is.
I spent the afternoon getting three different makeup applications. One of the artists asked me if there was anything I wanted to learn. I said I wanted to figure out how to balance out my eyebrows. Now, you ladies out there can probably relate to this. Many of us over-tweezed in our teens and now have eyebrows of differing length and fullness. Damn eyebrow hairs sometimes don't grow back. Who knew?!
The makeup artist begins to create an eyebrow where there is no eyebrow with his trusted pencils and shadow. He steps back and reveals to me my new, improved, balanced eyebrow look. Wow! I'm totally hot!
So, I get home that night and my boyfriend looks at me and says, "There's something different about you." I smile and bat my eyes hoping he'll notice my new eyebrows. "I'm not sure what it is," he says.
"It's my makeup. I got my eyebrows fixed up," I said.
"Yes! It's about time," he says.
"What do you mean?" I asked. I've known my boyfriend for over 5 years (we were in the same JW congregation back in the day) and he's never once mentioned anything about my eyebrows.
"Well, before I knew you, I used to see you in the congregation and think, 'Pretty girl, but what's with the crazy eyebrows?'"
"Really?" Now, I'm hurt. And embarrassed. "You mean I've been walking around all this time and it was that noticeable that my eyebrows were fucked up and you never said anything?" This is where men are stupid by the way. Why don't they just tell us these things?
In typical male fashion, the boyfriend says, "I didn't want to hurt your feelings."
Great. So everyone has been staring at my mutant eyebrows all this time. I knew they were an issue but, geez, I didn't think it was that obvious. So, if you were one of those people who knew my eyebrows were screwed up and didn't say anything, you suck. And if you've been avoiding me because you thought my misshapen eyebrow was a sign of my inner madness, well, you may be right, but love me anyway.